smile at goowey.blogspot.com

i'm gonna make a little something. a video collage of photos. Rihanna's song motivated me to.

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

i'm not saying that elmo is really doing those stuff -.- but i mean, its pointless. everything i'm doing is pointless. how about ending it off the way we started? (: it'll be happier, really. sometimes, loving someone doesnt have to do if you are continuing to love the person in the future or not. it means more in whether you TRUELY LOVED him/her. loving someone, its hard, it definitely is. and letting go of a loved one is even more difficult. let's just say, nothing can change the fact.

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

i mean, people change, their hearts too. and once they've changed, there's no telling if they're coming back. and with the sms, "Let's stop dating" and not even looking back, they probably missed something that's so dear to them. you know best if they really are missing that thing, cuz its whether you truely love them. if you dont, then you should know that they are just throwing away a piece of trash.

i've always doubted my lover after we broke up. because in only 2 or 3 weeks, i see love in that blog again. but the love was not refering to ours. in just 2 weeks? how much love can build up in that short span of time? so probably it started even when we are dating. i doubted, i raved, i swore. did things turn out to be good? nope. the friendship ended just like that. its painful. it really is. i mean, have you ever love me before?

And the award for the best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be
Faithful to me
Lets here your speech ohh

i tried means and ways to find and test my lover. and every single time i tried, it hurts, and our friendships plummet down deep in to nowhere. i know i've been foolish, but all i wanted was a reason. is that really difficult to tell me? i braced myself for any kind of reasons, from "i dont love you from the start" to "i dont really want to break up". but there was no reasons given. it felt so sore.

but thinking back at those things i do, i really am foolish. it doesnt even content me to have the reason anyway, be it negative or positive, so why did i do such foolish things? it could be just a moment of folly. but that moment stirred up many things that weren't even supposed to happen in the first place. friendships turned sour, friends leaving me, screwed up my life a little. yea, i did really really stupid stuff, and i dont really need to find anymore reason. it'll be probably the best not to know the reason of breaking up. really.

But it's over now

and all those problems caused, all those unwanted things in my life, are they really what i want from that simple reason? nope, i dont. is it really worth it, doing foolish stuff that degrade myself time after time? no, it isnt really worth it. so why bother doing it?

Rihanna's song is really nice :D i'll keep repeating to myself this sentence, and i'll remember it forever:

But its over now.

for now, i'll really want to focus in my studies. i want to be able to Ace my subjects, except humanities -.-, and get into a great JC. but not forgetting my loved ones, i really want to be able to bond with them. and the clique, i really want to form a strong bond with some of them in there, despite some unfavourable characters hidden amongst them. i'm not going to get into a relationship for the rest of this year, lest my results suffer. lastly, for the rest of this year, i want to cherish the ones i love, for who knows what will happen in the future.

this post is dedicated to all the broken hearted ones, and of course to Liping, forever my mei, Mary, the hottest girlfriend ;D, the so called "ELMO" (the one which corals and clown fish are in,, and the on in love with cookie monster), and all those who are going to be heart-broken in the future.

Dear Liping,
I'm glad you make the decision to let go. I know it hurts, i totally do. We are both in the same situation, putting in so much effort for a relationship but it just doesnt turn out right. But let's see the bright future ahead of us! :D dont let these hurtful stuff get you. You are out to get them! :D
I'll be a great supplier of Martell and Absolut. you can find me whenever you are sad :D i dont promise to be there for you whenever you need me, but i'll promise to be there as soon as i can (:

Love,
Er ge.

Dear Mary,
My sexiest and hottest girlfriend! XD haha, thanks for being in my ring of close friends in school, comprising you, xueting, keiko, joshua, yvonne, audrey, kaina, kelvin, joel, jeff. haha! DEAREST! dont let little things get the best of you okay! (: you know i care, and you know best whom to tell your deepest secrets and feelings. i'm glad you dont center your life in eugene anymore! :D
Its a good start to a new beggining! :D look, there's Gary for you! haha. and of course, your dearest, ME! :D tell me anything when you feel down okay. I dont promise to be there for you when you need me, but i know i'll be there for you as soon as i can (:

Love,
Hottest and Sexiest Boyfriend.

Dear Kuku,
haha! Hope you really are looking at this post! It really dawn on me, if you really love me or not. But i think all the doubting after we stop dating is really unneccessary. I'm not saying you cheated on me okay -.- haha, its just that, things didnt really go well for me, so i get really really emotional.
Come to the think of it, i really feel the sense of security when we were dating. Even if we dont meet for a week, i feel secured, almost as if you were by my side. I really love that feeling, its really hard to get this kinda feeling nowadays. Maybe that's why its really hard for me to let go of you XD
And now, i've thought about it. If i am able to feel the sense of security back at that time i shouldnt even be doubting you. Emotions sure control people well! I guess i didnt really think of how you feel those times i talk nonsense. But i hope you are not hurt by me =/ sorry if i do!
I am letting go, i really am. Okay, this might be like the 2342532 times i said i really am letting go, but THIS TIME, i really mean it. haha, wont bother you and your cookie monster. i dont wanna get the third party stamp on my face! haha!
I hope you are doing fine, and i hope that cookie monster is the one for you! :D oh ya, jiayou for your Uni studies! ;D

Love,
Guowei.

i swear on my heart, my love was true.
i swear.
and i swear everything i told you of,
from my family to my friends (you know what i mean),
they are true.
they really are.

dated,2:56 PM
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