ah this song is just so nice. i see those memories again when i hear this song. then i began to wonder, do i still love you?

for all that you've done to me, i should detest your presence on the Earth. but no, i dont feel that way. there was more of contentment than sorrow in my heart. well, thanks to you, i understand more about loving someone, and i know to what extent i could do for my lover (:

this might just be the 156732 time i'm posting about me thanking you again and again, but yea. i just see nothing else to blog in here. i mean for the moment XP

i used to think that you are going to be my forever, but i know that will just be absurd to think that way. i'm not sure if i still love you or not, but what i know is that, i only love to reminisce on the memories we shared together, but i dont want them happening again anymore. but i do miss the times we had :D its been months, and i do miss you. but of course, there can never be a future for us.

well well!! i guess its the power of music! this song had almost made it an illusion that the O's over, and we're all gonna leave each other. some of the lucky ones will still be in the same school in future, but the unlucky ones will have to seperate. for me, i guess i'll be the unlucky one. its not really a sad thing, cause there aint much people i'm close to in this school. there's only so few that you can only count using your fingers -.-

but keiko's going SP. so you see, nothing else for me. and i do hope me and keiko can keep in touch. dont wanna lose another close friend. mary too, but i really hope she can balance between love and friends well, so that we can always be close friends. aiya brandon will always be close one la. though we dont meet very very very often, we talk on phones, smsed each other at random times. WHICH I FOUND OUT THAT, i dont usually do that with kusumoto and mary.

but looking at mary's case now, i think that its hard for us to text each other anyway. with a boyfriend around, things are gonna be quite strained. BUT i even sacrificed my image for them lor. just cause they got boyfriend and they will get jealous easily, so i have to sacrifice my image for them, so their boyfriends will not be sooooooooooooo easily jealoused. aiya, you guys wont understand la. LOL.

i dont know who to celebrate my birthday with lor. sian. maybe keiko and mary. but their boyfriend sure tag along, super wet blanket la!! so yea, i thought of asking brandon lor. just the two of us T.T but at least its better than last time.

oh yes! i guess i have not blog about this. i never had more than 4 birthday parties in my life before. as far as i can remember, i had a birthday party when i'm kindergarden, a party in primary 1 and primary 2, and one last year. so yup, i've never eaten my own birthday cakes more than 4 times too. so yup, sounds rather pathetic. but who cares. not really into my own birthday party. i rather go out with my closests and celebrate with them.

you guys might just think why my closest aint my family. i prefer not to answer that. its complicating. but you just have to know that we're a family on the surface. that's all you need to know. dont probe any further, and i'll appreciate it alot ((: but yaya, mary and keiko and brandon knows about it, so dont kachiao them okay. LOL.

i'm gonna have wonderful nightlife after O's. why? get away from home as long as possible. LOL nah just joking, i still need to go back to sleep and eat and get money XD but i really love night life! walking in the streets blasting "Feels like Tonight" by Chris Daughtry, "Written in the Stars" by Westlife; its just so romantic. haha! i'll get a partner at the end of my O's (:

gah. life's crap.