eh i tell you i feel super insulted. someone, who is my COUSIN's friend, popped me a comment:

"r u a gay?"

eh super sensitive to this word can. and its a female. whos pictures are all male pictures. i suspect this person is a gay, who doesnt want to admit he is one, so he put his gender as a FEMALE in the friendster. like zzzzz can. its a SUPER insult to me can.

i mean, yes yes i look like a big great "SISSY" which you may want to classify me as, for all the camwhoring photos, the way i shake my hips and i sashay my way through the crowds, wearing almost a distinctive bright colour almost as if warning everyone "HELLO! A super duper flamboyant guy is passing by, so make way please!!" and yea, i know i've been trying to kick out of that habit, and trying to stop myself from speaking using my high-pitched nasal voice. its difficult to ya know? and what, does that make me a gay? you damned asshole.

it just feels depressing to be ostracised by the heart of the people by mass classification. classifying people means ostracising people from your heart too, in an in-direct way. it feels really terrible. come to the think of it, is there really a need for a classification to be done to everyone around you? like classifying the fats and the slims, the hots and the nots, the nerds and the smarts, the gays and the manlys, the tomboys and the ladies? is there a need? one of the groups you classified under will feel hurt and the pain you inflict on them is absolutely devastating. and the key word is ABSOLUTELY. its is 100% yes that you will inflict a pain on them. you might not have realised but have you ever wondered how it feels like to be classified? prolly cuz you have not been classified before. you damned asshole again.

seriously, there is no need for classification. why classify?

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yes yes, clementi idols. okay okay, i admit that i said someone was abit act cute, and kinda said really bad stuff lor. but its how i think la. i know i'm pretty wrong to speak behind one's back, but i still did it. shit me, i did bad stuff agaiinnnnn. i think i should just go and die.


bang! its the release of CHEMISTRY RESULTS todayyy!! :DDDDD
like ZOMG! yayness, cuz i've scored 85/100 for chemistry mid year! HOWEVERRRR. the highest for secondary three is 86/100. damn! i feel so shitty. okay as in, i really hope to get higher than what i wished for. but i didnt, so i feel rather shitty. i mean, i dont want to just get an A1, but more than that. sighs. and well, the constant comparison between 4B1 and 4C1 is always there. so well, also want to win them too XP but who i really want to win for O levels are just more than them. its the whole of singapore (: cuz for the O's, its not just between our school. its the entire singapore taking the O levl paper.

oh yea, chinese results was pretty bad too. 64/100. without oral and listening compre. ahhhh, i need to at least get a B3 la. or higher. cuz i always fail my chinese or borderline pass. and its just a friggin short 10 days left to CHINESE MT WRITTEN EXAMSSSS!!!! :(

and how i wish for As in my exams!

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oh yea, Mrs Jessica Lee was talking about the Uni admission. For NUS, the more difficult school to go in is the School of Arts and Social Sciences, Medicine and Law. oh no! like shatttt. i wannna get in to the School of Arts and Social Sciences!! :( i shall work really hardddddd liao. sighsss. and my dear readers, plan your future okay! at least 5 years ahead! like what Mrs Jessica Lee does.

oh yea, she really is VERY very Inspiring! always talking to us about our future, the happenings around the world and yup! super inspiring!! she should win the Inspiring teachers award!! :D

Ms Tan Wen Yi is rather insipiring too! talking about life and stuff. haha! and she is very very caring!! thanks for asking me how i'm doing and how things are at home kayy (: she should win the Caring teachers award!!

and MS MUM(ouch my knee)!!! :D she is always talking about life to us, talking about where to play/eat, and stuff. and a super dramatic drama-lamas, leading the school's best actors! XD and of course, also a very good singer! and yaaaaa, she cares alot about me too. ((: thanks for those days and telling me what to do kay ((: thanks mum!!!!!!!!!!!! eh, the steamboat day, faster decide hor! LOL. together with UNCLE!!! seriously, i dont really like incest, but this time, it sounds kinda cool. XP (erm yea my readers, please dont commit incest ar)

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well, i saw the news again today. its the Sichuan earthquake on the first page. Sichuan is really facing quite a hard time though. but it really spur on me. i thought of many things, including the love of the parents.

well, many buildings collapsed and killing more than a few hundred thousands of people. its really very serious, and i think its the most number of people killed in an earthquake? i think la, but too many people died. in one of the school, more than 900 students are buried alive. pretty a sad thing. there was a grim silence as parents began to dig through the rubbles in search of their beloved children.

Xinyi's Case:
Xinyi is just a three year old girl who lives in Dujiangyan. She was rescued just yesterday afternoon after being trapped under the rubble for more than 40hours. She apparently survived because she had been protected by the bodies of her parents. See, her parents used their body as a human sheild and protected from the falling pieces of cement and stuff. She suffered serious leg injuries, but she was still alive. She was saved by the love of her parents.

it was quite sad, because even though she is alive, her parents are dead.

Ren Lin Gui and Ren Li's case:
They were pulled out from the rubble, dead. Her mother madam Shi Xiao Qiong was in a state of depression. She wailed: "Give me back my two babies! I dont want money, I dont want land, I dont want a house, I just want my two babies back!" but of course, all these didnt work. She could only mourn over the bodies of her son, 16, and her daughter, 14.

with her both children dead, its no wonder she fell into the depths of depression.

at the end of the newspaper report, i could swear i dropped a tear. the sorrow is overwhelming. losing your loved ones, it just seemed too much to bear.

i wouldnt want to lose my loved ones, but sooner or later i will have to. daddy's resigning to fate now. grandpa, i dont know how his condition is. i dont know what else to say. i really dont. i just want to take a break in the midst of the road to my final destination. but i know i cant, i must hold on and walk the way through, at least to the end of this year.

and may all the sorrow be turned into hope.
but will it be hope left behind?